Sailing Humor

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Man invented the slowest form of transportation - the sailboat - then decided to race them. - Philosopher Unknown

A Good Idea Goes Bad

A friend was looking for a second hand boat to buy, when he thought of a great idea. At his sailing club there was a large compound where the management put trailers and boats if the owner didn't pay their membership.

It was a club very big and at the time there were three or four Lasers in this yard that judging from their condition hadn't been sailed for at least a year. My friend took down the numbers of these boats and asked the club secretary for the owners address so that he could make them an offer. The first man he called said he wasn't interested in selling as he was going to sail it himself "one of these days."

He then called the second owner who lived about 100 miles away. A woman answered the phone and confirmed that they did still own the Laser. My friend explained that he had seen it in the compound and that as it clearly hadn't been sailed for a year - did she think her husband would be interested in selling? "Oh no" she said, "there must be some mistake - come rain or shine my husband spends one weekend a month in London sailing..." I bet he had some explaining to do when he got home!

Making The Best of a Bad Situation

Gordon died. So Susan went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Susan what she would like to say about Gordon.

Susan replied, "You just put, 'Gordon died.'"

The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it? Just 'Gordon died?'

Surely, there must be something more you'd like to say about Gordon. If it's money you're concerned about, the first five words are free. We really should say something more."

So Susan pondered for a few minutes and finally said, "O.K., then. You put 'Gordon died. Sailboat for sale.'"

Sailboat Humor
Starboard and Port
Sailing Definitions

Selling your Sailboat to Africa!

Grandpa's Funny Pages

Page 2: Sell your Sailboat to Africa!
Page 3: American based scams
Page 4: Boat for sale scam
Page 5: Room for Rent scam
Page 6: Motorhome for sale scam
Page 7: I've lost my wallet and need your loan!
Page 8: Give me your PIN number, I already have your credit card number.
Page 9: How to accept payment for your boat without getting scammed

The Ultimate PWC Repellent
(how to make jetskis avoid sailboats!)